Yes a problem.
This hunger or food I like in case of lust, was a problem for me as it ruins my relationship with people/nature/etc… and it is the major problem for whole humanity.
But now - there is no hunger or liking of such objects personally - only the beauty of relationship,compassion,etc…
Note - if you don’t ask about me personally - please leave the above said replies and as a common reply ‘yes -it is the problem of humanity as one approaches the object only with this lustful feeling (as hunger or like) and couldn’t observe the actuality of that object/person and no awareness is there and so no actual relationship is taking place.’
A relationship is a connection between two people, especially one involving romantic or sexual feelings. It is no different from the relationship between you and your plate of chicken tikka masala that you are eating.
A state of awareness in which “the self is not” is always there while life - at the practical level - is going on.
You are right about the sex and food - they are acting in ‘now’.
But what about lust? it may be practical/natural - but it actually ruins my relationship with ‘woman’ and this lust feeling makes to see her as object - and try to ‘trap/seduce/correct’ her or if she doesn’t fell in the trap - then ‘watch porn/masturbation/harassment/drugs/alcohol’- and so there is no actual relationship is taking place there (i.e. if my wife asks to please her - there is relationship with her- it’s not a problem but - if I’m hungry or running for my like - it is a serious problem).
So and so we have to observe - ‘why this lust feeling arises’
The metaphors that science draws out of reality are useful in providing an alternative perspective and can help stir the pot in the sense of breaking things up to allow fresh insights to occur. I see the core elements as listening and observing, and uncovering the impediments to them, with language employing whatever framework is considered useful, as the means of verbal communication, to test the validity of things or to help consolidate understanding.
It seems obvious to me at any rate, that the consolidation of the self, or centre or observer, is very firmly established at a depth within the human animal, otherwise the structure would have been seen through a long time ago. It also seems fairly obvious both through observing others, and being aware of things in myself, that fear is always involved in the factor(s) binding this sense in place. And since the roots go deep, then the fear has to be deep too.
Another way to look at this is Krishnamurti pointed out that the root of fear was time and thought, by which he meant psychological thought as time, since he saw time and thought in this sense as one and the same. This would imply that this psychological time is also written into things at a considerable depth, and that there are aspects to that which are not immediately apparent.
Thought creates the belief that it ‘all can be gone’? That I can be ‘free’? That the ‘light’ is ‘up there’ if I can just figure out how to get there, etc.?
Yes that’s a sort of, I am something that could get out of this if I really wanted to, so really I am in control of things here, and it’s just a matter of time.
Let’s proceed carefully in this investigation. How does lust ruin your relationship between you and the object of your lust? You walk into a “eat-all-you-want” dinner buffet and your lust for the delicious food drives you to gorge yourself with enthusiam till you can’t eat another bite. Does that ruin your relationship with the food? In most societies today, you can indulge your lust for sex also as long as you can pay for the “buffet”. What kind of relationship are you looking for?
See - lust for food and sex - covers our eyes to see the actuality of that/them.
That “eat-all-you-want” is the problem. Many foods are not healthy - we may know that - but the ‘want for delicious’ drives us away from to be aware and to take care of this ‘body’.
Also lust for sex - are you okay with the society seeing woman as objects? Even a hooker/pornstar may don’t really love sex - but just for money they would have joined the club - we only see them as objects like a toy/doll - also when we see a woman - immediately this lust arises - and “want to have her as ‘my gf/partner/wife’” and can’t observe/understand what they are actually doing - because of the ‘lust’
And it’s upto you to be okay with the society or to be serious to have actual relationship with people/nature/etc…
Blindness has to be considered a general principle when certain things are seen to be hidden in plain sight, yet carry on regardless, with fear much in evidence.
The ego-consciousness is the way it is. Is yours in a state of disorder?
Each of us has self-control, and it is possible to navigate our relationships the way we drive our cars so they get us to where we need to go without problems.
There will always be a tendency to go “off the road” whether you are driving your car or relating with women. The thought of painful consequences if you mess up is a safety alert and quite effective for maintaining order in one’s life. Is that not good enough for you?
There are already controls in place aren’t there? Our ancestors would see something they like and would take it. As men we are basically a delivery system for sperm… as women are for eggs. Civilization has dictated permissible ways to go about it but sometimes ‘little mister ‘ will have it his way and that can create a lot of trouble.
The society set the controls and one follows them or gets into trouble and causes pain for someone. Sexual attraction is not only normal, it’s vital. Something we share with all other creatures here. If it becomes a ‘problem’ for you, like any addiction out of ‘control’, you get help to bring it to an acceptable level. So it is no longer a problem for you. So it is no longer is out of balance.
I don’t think Viswa has either compulsive sexual behavior or addicted to sex. He seems to be driven by a scientific need to investigate lust as a psychological condition. Life is filled with things for which there are no reasons. Why is there a me? No reason. Why does the sun rise in the East? No reason. Why are there stars in the sky? No reason.
With regard to sexual attraction, other creatures are regulated by nature and don’t go messing around all the time the way Viswa thinks humans do. For humans, sexual attraction is a Springtime thing for people from late teen to mid-twenties. After that, it becomes ridiculous or ought to be. There is a time for everything we do. Why? No reason.