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While expecting something extraordinary to happen, is it ego, fear or anxiety?

Once seen for the first time something true, a momentary truth, may leave one speechless yes perhaps, but nothing transcendental, it is normal when one has put an end to searching for some kind of special effect, immaculate conception or elevated feeling, making observing-seeing throughout the day normal, rational and without effort, the comprehension of what is going on.

While expecting something extraordinary to happen, we move in that direction. Everything we experience is “colored” by the idea of that transformation. Then, any actual seeing of a fact is used in the same movement. One never stops to actually look at where awareness comes from!

“What does it mean to be aware? …Because I want to know…!”

Anything that is possible with awareness must already be a fact. That’s where all this business with “beyond any cause” seems to come from, right?

So, expecting something to happen, when it does “happen”, has to be “contained” within the activity of thought that is already operating.

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There seems to be actions which are moving to be some one, somewhere, and belong to something. I think this is why we have created all kinds of social groups, sexual criteria, and personality cults, etc. The cause of this movement, searching, wanting, identifying, would be a reaction in fear. The fear being an emptiness, a sense of nothingness, which we want to fill. We have been taught to accumulate and become. The reaction to emptiness, that is where we think there is nothing definite for me, is a shame, having lost the natural organic living, free from becoming.

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And then there is desire to extend a moment of seeing of something that is true or false… the demand to see more seems logical and probably would be if it were pure, but the extender often wants his presumption fulfilled, which may reveal the disassociation to the observer, but the observer may not see his disassociation from the observed. Why?

It is not actually observation; but justification/confirmation. Why?

What extends beyond? Like a crossword puzzle wanting to fill itself in with what words will fit its preconceived conclusion… brain completes each sentence with the exact word that prevents it from seeing itself; it sees the word/phrase and it is done; what it sees is only the description.

Thought/thinking lives in dualism, is the dualism.

Dualism needs justification!

Out of that fear is that longing, a loneliness for connection perhaps, but to what? A physical connection occurs and its not enough, its over and the longing remains momentarily hidden by contact & sensation.

The loneliness/longing goes on & if fortune has it, there is no momentary escape for a time, without effort, without even knowing perhaps, fear is gone.

And when fear returns, which it will, observation follows it like that proverbial poisonous snake in the room; you are living with it and finding out all about it and your self [so to speak]… its more like you are plainly observing your being, which may go on, but often the glimpse is enough to trigger meditation.

Conditioned to seek & expect something mystical, otherworldly, transforming into the image of ‘having arrived’ so to speak at the promised land of a being illuminated. We’ve all seen the pictures! Reinforced by deep longing, a loneliness & longing never to be fulfilled, which of course it cannot ever be fulfilled. Fabricated by thought to distract from the work?

Perhaps these past & present accumulations are Thought’s attempt to keep the being under control while entrapped in its own struggle?

Every moment the being is aware of itself, in or out, it cannot help but see its desire for escape can never be transforming and may be hazardous to ones health!

The seeing is always the cause which some may label beyond due to misunderstanding what has to take place; the gears and how they work.

Expecting is part of the projection. Brain bullying heart to be right may be the key to comprehending the whole mess.

Yes, completely. Most feel that (which is also all of our personal goals included feel that), we have to uncover a new way of seeing the world. It might be “outrageous” to claim, but such a way is simply being aware. Aware of our natural organic living, aware of the fact that time is an idea, aware of the fact that we really don’t exist at all. Thoughts, memories, and all that exists… yet awareness itself doesn’t exist. I feel this is the “true heart” of stillness. For “our” awareness to exist, it must also come to an end.

Is it because “I” want to know what will “set me free”? We don’t see the separation when we take actions towards an idea. Such actions are obviously part of our daily life, but have nothing to do with actually being aware.

Dualism is the justification :slight_smile:

As long as the “dualism” of ‘me’ here and the rest of the world ‘there’, any action taken will be a reinforcement of that seeing/feeling/believing? Any action to ‘get somewhere’ psychologically will reinforce the illusion of separation? Without awareness of the presence of this dualistic conditioning, the action taken will, can, only strengthen the illusion of an ‘individual’ me divided from the rest of creation? Is this why K has pointed to a choice-less awareness as being the only possibility to break through or dissolve this illusory situation we have inherited? An awareness that is not ‘mine’ or ‘yours’ but Awareness that has no division, no judgement, no seeking, no condemnation, no comparing?

No time?

All I (or anyone) can truly offer is what “I as a thinker” have observed. Everything else is an explanation from another, or just an idea towards figuring out “how to live without conflict”.

Yes, it seems that any action out of dualism, such as choice-less awareness and the thinker, is still caught “inside the realm” of dualism. Reinforcing implies strengthening the reality of how things are… but I think we are either aware of awareness, or not. Aware of choice-less awareness, or living through the dualism of the “thinker” and thought.

Atoms weren’t created when we discovered them, they have been here all along. Same with “pure” awareness… it seems to physically precede the movement of thought. There is nothing to “fix” or “create”… Awareness is already acting…!

And yes, it seems that such an awareness is not dependent on our individual body. It can’t be described with ideas of achievement or time.

Because that… comes from memory… and consciousness precedes any thought. It did when we were inside the womb, and it still does every “moment”. Our whole struggle seems to simply be aware of the “interplay” between consciousness and the body.

Yes. ‘Awareness’ is not a word. ‘Love’ is not a word. Thought can’t describe what ‘they’ are.. But surely, they are one. It seems to me that ‘awareness’ is ‘in’ every living thing, but it itself is not a ‘thing’, it is nothing? as K has said we are: nothing (not-a-thing)? He also said often that, “you are the world”…is that pointing out that we are in fact, this ‘Love’, this ‘Awareness’?

I suppose in a way consciousness is silent, but that is only a description of consciousness. Physically, consciousness existed before thought or sensations created memory. Once our brain was able to start recording experience according to an idea of time… Then, came the separation between the observer and the observed. “pure” consciousness is simply looking at that immense fact. That the observer is the observed.

Really, perception itself is a film that “covers” awareness. A “lens” through which we understand the world. When you take that “away”, then there is only consciousness before any idea from time.

When I drink a glass of water, there is knowledge of the fact of how to drink, but choice-less awareness comes first, and thought is “holding its breath”.

There is the word : perception (which is to become aware via the senses).
There is is also the word : interpretation (which is to assign meaning based on knowledge)

Maybe expand some on this, I don’t get it.

Yes, but I’m not sure that perception and interpretation are really all that different. If something beyond the self, without a cause exists, then awareness must be “part” of it. What I’m directly saying is that once our idea of “each” sense is “halted by attention”… Then there is awareness of sensation without any interpretation. That is what I mean by “pure awareness”. That awareness is also naturally without any choice. And with it comes some sort of immense “energy”.

Then, it also seems to precede the thought that “I am”. Possibly, it might be some sort of “direct perception”… only it is impossible to become aware of it, when it has always been.

Then from there, we can discuss the nature of consciousness, if it is truly universal. But that’s outside the scope of this topic. Expecting something to happen impedes what is already factually present.

Sorry Dan, it definitely seems quite odd now that I reread it. Was trying to describe an example, but was quite personal and “in the moment”. As today was quite a rough day teaching at school, It was nice to somehow have a feeling that things were hectic, yet there wasn’t the usual stress of it all. Before I felt that acceptance of things being overwhelming, there was the awareness that it was simply a conditioned interpretation of how I was “supposed” to feel. This is only delusional when we think that we can choose “how we feel”. I’m not really sure that there is any choice at all with feelings.

When there is the awareness of feelings without any interpretation, what is there? It seems that “self-directed” action is the first thing to go.

We thank you for your presence - may you help the children keep safe and full of wonder.
Lets just hope you’re not the one teaching logic :rofl:

I like to describe this as an end to separation. Non-discrimination being silence. Non-reification of identities being emptiness or wholeness.

Thanks :smiley:! Thankfully I went from teaching math for 4 years to Life Skills, which is working with students that have intellectual disabilities. I find that due to the fact that their brains have trouble processing information, that they actually struggle more with social skills than “life” skills.

Nicely put! I can see that “natural” awareness is non-descrimination of recognition/understanding and non-reification of any label… that definitely leads to my experiencing of the “immense energy”… yet, just tonight, I caught a glimpse of the ending of separation (or some call the duality) between the internal and the external.

The external being what we are perceiving, and the internal being observation without any ideas about the observation. Such an observation must be the observer themselves…!

The ending of that duality definitely brings up fear… Any insights on this? Does it merit a separate topic?

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How does this play out ? Are you saying that within moments of meditation/silence - fear suddenly bubbles up?
Surely there can only be fear of concepts - silence does not judge itself.

It suddenly bubbles up, but at the intuition that awareness might actually be physical reality… or maybe better put: physical reality is all that we can ever know. And that consciousness/awareness affect our senses, but aren’t actually fully of, or “within” our senses…

It could also be that there are countless ways of saying the same real fact, and this is simply another “spin” on the same attempt to describe something “beyond” description.

I wonder if at a certain point, any attempt to describe awareness actually prevents the seeing of its reality…?

leaving on a trip tomorrow, and won’t be back for a few days. Stay healthy everyone :slight_smile:

Emotion as a reaction to mentation is a habitual process of our conditioning.
It sounds like you hold a concept : “physical reality”, and to that concept you contrast, compare and possibly conflate another concept : “awareness” - and this gives rise to confusion and emotional distress - not surprising really, especially if we believe our knowledge/concepts to be faithful representations of reality.

Of course, I may be interpreting all this erroneously again (its similar to whats going on in another thread) due to our dependance on language. In which case you may be saying that you had an insight that turned your world upside down thus causing unease once you reviewed your memory of that insight?

Luckily (?) its very difficult to describe - we are often left pointing at what it is not.