Hi, there.
Please I request to forget the past(what happened in the discussion).
Our Observations may be right/wrong. But it’s not about that. Those observations of a person - creates/projects an ‘image’ of a person - and becomes a barrier for the discussion.
Let’s all forget about those - and as @anon78228991 raised a question that,
Let we all ‘listen’ / ‘observe’ that - and continue the discussion as @Klaus @macdougdoug @Dominic - does.
Sorry.
Thanks
@caviswa_gmail_com
Hello
Please, one thinks you will do well by focusing on your own participation instead of focusing on this one. It will do you well to remember your place as a participant in this forum, rather than a moderator of others. It will also serve you well not to make images of what others are doing since you have no idea of reality. So the best course for you is to ‘observe’ and ‘listen’, and perhaps ‘learn’ from the discussions….and stay away from the usage of catch phrases, if you can.
Thanks
Isn’t it obvious? You jump on the phrases ‘pet words’ and ‘being direct’ and then immediately you both bring back in the strangely indirect use of the word ‘being’. We are being aggressive and reactive with one another. That’s our greatest problem. Until we solve this, it is useless to continue. I hope you weren’t expecting something more profound.
Therefore the problem is nothing to do with her. Nor is it to do with the image of contentment. These are both movements away from something which is painful to look at. To forestall the pain it is easy to blame another with a negative image or to project a better version of life through a positive image. The image-making is merely the outcome of a reaction to pain. But what is the pain?
All personal relationship is about hiding from one another. That’s the whole point of it, whether as marriage, friendship, or any other form of human interaction where we make one person more important to us than anyone else. So personal relationship has pain built into it at the very centre. I may be wrong, so let’s look at it.
So aggression and reaction is the concern, but is that an entirely conscious affair, or does it have a sub-conscious and an unconscious element to it, which was the point made earlier in the thread in response to the original question?
I don’t know what elements it has. That’s what we have to look at together in order to find out. As soon as we say what the elements are, we are beginning to turn away from the problem and making it more about a solution. The only thing I see at the moment is that this is our greatest problem. It may be enough just to see this together. But if I see it and you don’t see it as our greatest problem, we are already moving apart.
Hello Paul, if I may say let us suppress suffering as a matter of inquiry, then there is no real deep problem. Of course there is suffering so there are billion of problems, all the time for all of us. It may be conscious or may not be conscious but this is a common fact to all of mankind is not it ? K is gone so it concerns all of us, yet there possibly are some exceptions here and there, whether of moments whether of people, probably a few.
Seeing a thing like aggression, is an instance of seeing, so this is simply seeing, set against not seeing, is it not? Given not seeing is the fact, what actually is that?
Sorry, I am not sure what you are trying to say, Daniel.
First, do we both see that this is our greatest problem? It may be my aggression or your aggression, but it is there in our relationship.
I don’t see that, nor do I see that you see it. Given you actually see it, is there not then a comprehension of what is involved in not seeing which can be conveyed simply?
So, what do you see as our greatest problem?
I effectively stated above that if there is a greatest problem it can only be that I am.
When you were asked earlier in the thread “What is your own answer to the question?” you responded “I don’t have an answer.” Since then you have gone on to say that being aggressive and reactive with one another is our greatest problem.
Can you not simply lay out here now for the sake of clarity what you see as involved in that seeing, as set against the earlier not seeing of it?
Not ‘if’ - do you see a problem?
Have I not already said that I do not see a problem. Are you just going to completely ignore everyone using the same device over and over?
I am not ignoring anyone; I am trying to get it clear what you are saying. Are you saying that you don’t see a problem anywhere in life?
Which is a form of aggression or reaction, isn’t it?
Hello Paul, nor am I!! our greatest problem is suffering…to make it short!..cheers 
Well I would say aggression is a form of resistance which is simply there throughout, just as isolation is, and having something as a problem is resistance too.