If we can live with the observer or the “me” thing why can’t we live without the “me” thing or the observer?
The only way to find out is to live without yourself, and you can’t do that unless/until you find out what yourself is.
1 Like
One has to find out why one lives with the observer who compares and competes all the time?
Yes…
So, are you guys intellectually satisfied, managing to answer a question together without feelings of contempt? Or does inquiry and examiner only respond to eachothers to compete intellectually ?
Why so concern with others!
No one here is “concerned” with others - we just use others as a mirror.
Yes we are but the rest of the field is empty and useless.
the “me” is memory, so to end the “me” one needs to first settle the memory of past hurts etc., and then let if fade away.
1 Like
how is this done? can you describe the process? or what the process might look like.
this can be done in two ways. either life will trigger the memory of the past hurts and then you can allow the memory to surface and be with it without trying to respond to it through thought but just experiencing it. The other way is if you imagine/visualize the event that led to the hurt and experience it fully. These are the two ways. You must somehow allow the hurt to blossom without any interference by thought. Just feel it. This way the memory will “settle” and no longer create psychological disturbances in the system.
2 Likes
Thank you - what is the main difference (as in what makes it more useful as a liberating/settling process) between what you have described, and when the memory of past trauma comes up naturally/automatically?
I am not sure what the main difference is, but it appears that in effect there is no difference, if the memory does indeed come up when you try to imagine/visualize/remember it. The main thing is how realistic the imagination is. Also what can help is remembering the words that hurt you if that was what hurt you. You can repeat the words slowly and feelingly and allow the pain to come up.
We use thought to deal with the hurt. The very word “hurt” adds weight to the feeling by negative connotation.
So the first thing is not to call the feeling “hurt”. That is thought has be quiet and not to interfere with the observation. But we usually do the opposite that is we add thought into the feeling.
@saurab Can I try again? I’m not sure we are on the same page.
Sometimes, for no apparent reason, I remember stuff. I mean that we have memories that appear spontaneously in our consciousness - I think this happens regularly to all of us.
So, say I suddenly (automatically, without any intention on my part - as I have been describing above) remember some uncomfortable/traumatising incident from my past.
My question is : Is this a naturally settling process of past hurts, similar to what you are advocating for (you seem to be advocating for a deliberate attempt at the same)?
yes this is more natural. but you will have to wait for life’s triggers to bring it up to the surface.
Thanks - 2 thoughts :
- By Natural, I wasn’t meaning to imply good, or better than unNatural.
- Are you saying that when we remember something, we are “settling the past”?
Maybe, you can expand a bit on what you mean by “settling the past” and also why feeling the hurt brought on by memory - whilst avoiding thinking about it - is beneficial.
No. The first thing is to realize that doing something rather than doing nothing is ignoring or down-playing the need to be quiet and observant. You believe there is something you can do to put an end to you because you don’t realize how conditioned you are to do something, even if its nothing.
The first thing for you is stop trolling and pay attention to the topics.
macdougdoug
- By Natural, I wasn’t meaning to imply good, or better than unNatural.
- Are you saying that when we remember something, we are “settling the past”?
Maybe, you can expand a bit on what you mean by “settling the past” and also why feeling the hurt brought on by memory - whilst avoiding thinking about it - is beneficial.
Your second point is very important. When we remember something, we may either strengthen the past or we may be settling the past depending on what we do when the memory comes up. If we start thinking, then we strengthen the past because then we are associating new material with the old, so the old becomes stronger.
BUT, if we do not think when the pain comes up, when those images and/or energy of pain/hurt comes up, but just feel it by going through the pain, then the energy of the hurt or pain reduces through awareness of it. the light of awareness transforms the pain. but thinking increases the memory and pain, by adding more pain-driven thoughts to the original hurt.
of course sometimes it may be necessary to think a little for the pain to come up more completely. But once the pain is there and you are feeling it, THEN it is counter productive to think.
1 Like