I fall and fall and fall in fear,
For I cannot see what lies beyond
The light, beyond the chasm before me.
I had a dream that I fell into darkness,
Searching for someone to hold on to,
Someone somewhere to whom I can cling
For dear life as I trip, slip and fall.
I awoke from the darkness the same as I was yesterday,
Fearful and afraid of what lurks in the dark,
Even if it is only myself.
Isn’t “myself” what I feel presently; a feeling ranging from pleasure to pain, delight to despair, pride to shame, the emotional gammut running back and forth?
What happens when there’s awareness of how reacting to this range of feelings by favoring one end of the spectrum over the other is what perpetuates the movement? What happens when emotions are just the weather of awareness?
Just as I want to feel good, unburdened, optimistic, etc., I want the weather to be mild, pleasant, not extreme or distressing. But why should awareness be diminished or distorted by conditions?
Yes, the want/don’t want reaction of desire/fear makes one less aware of what is actually happening, and more sure of what should/should not happen. This false confidence and the blundering behavior that follows is what we are. Surely.