Hi everyone (: It’s nice to be apart of a network with others who have read Krishnamurti! I started reading K January 2020 and since then, I’ve gone through so much healing. That was the first time I genuinely felt free and felt life is worth living. Not a lot of people can say that and I will always wish for everyone to find that.**
I have been stuck in this impossible place for months now… about a year honestly. Now that I’ve reflected, socially I’ve been stuck on taking action and showing up in society with all I’ve learned. I find myself repressing all I really want to say and all I’ve learned…and worse I end up adjusting to please people in social situations. It’s a denial of my own freedom and feels like the worst abuse. I do that or I isolate when I know that people won’t understand what I’m talking about. It’s so depressing that I’m scared to go out of my comfort zone and confront this fear of judgement/being misunderstood. It’s draining and I feel emotionally bruised every time I adjust myself to please who I’m talking to.**
This is my last step… it’s a big one but I’ve been stuck here for so long. I want to be my raw uncensored self, regardless of who I am around. I don’t want to control how anyone sees me and I want to be able to say everything I want to say without fear.**
I have been terrified to take this step. Especially knowing that so many will judge and not understand… before I read Krishnamurti I wouldn’t have understood either. Because I have been so repressed it has taken away so much from me. I haven’t found anyone who understands me. It’s really lonely in this place.**
I want to see what everyone went through socially after reading Krishnamurti? Did you find yourself in this weird place of never feeling more free but then sad and isolated because you can’t share it with anyone? Did you feel more alone? Or stuck with how to navigate in society? Do you isolate from people instead of confronting to control them judging you? Have you found people who see you and get you? Are you still struggling with this like I am.**
What does everyone think?