(Quick aside: “Truth jewel” definitely relates to moments in the Talks when K would mention the truth as a jewel or something; or that, through the understanding of desire and fear (the self) we see the truth, and it’s like discovering a jewel.)
The question “Is freedom essential” is something I get stuck on a lot, particularly in relation to the assumption that truth has authority over non-truth, but I think the question of how reality relates to the self is a rather important question as well. And, with my inability to define/understand freedom, I go back to the question of self-knowledge and the resistance of the self towards inquiry.
It makes sense that the understanding of truth only comes about in daily life, because dreams (disregarding premonitions in dreams) and memories both cloud the understanding of reality in the present moment.
So, a question I get stuck on a lot is, “If freedom is essential, and it is possible I am ‘wasting my life’ by not ‘being free,’ and I continue to accumulate guilt in relation to this ideal of freedom, then what is freedom? Why am I not already free? What prevents freedom?”
Of course, the question of the observer then ixnays the possibility of “being free”, as it is not a static state of being. Why then do we observe the self as a constant state of being (fear of death/discontinuity?)
Anyways, from what I am able to deduce (or the conclusion I’ve drawn, whoops) freedom is not essential. Love is essential, because without any form of compassion, without any form of relationship with other human beings, we lose the will to live. Whether or not Truth or Love is or can be a constant state is another question (does love/care equal attention, then what is romantic love, etc).
But, freedom is not essential if we define freedom as the absence of fear/conflict, so long as we are ignorant and lack any form of self-awareness. (Is attention, then, the bridge between the absence of freedom and freedom?)
When K talks about freedom not being related to conflict (such as when he discusses how true goodness is not related to conflict), in that there is the question of the authority of truth/freedom, because when we try to consciously alter our actions, we may be acting as though we are decent human beings, but the essence of the self is inherently contradictory and selfish, so we’re acting as what we idealize is good in order to achieve the goal of becoming good, or rather in order to be perceived as good so as to preserve our sense of self-worth (clinging to disorder, the feeling of safety in a world that is inherently dangerous).
Anyway, it seems as though personal accountability for one’s actions in relation to other people plays a role in freedom, because by paying attention to how we act in the moment, there is the chance that we can see the non-truth; and in the moment, if time does not enter, there is a chance at transformation.
On a personal note, I distinctly remember a time when I was angry for what I thought was a justifiable reason. I was then promptly proven wrong; in the perception of my error, there was a moment of discontinuity, in which I blipped out for a moment, and after which I was no longer angry.
(Also, sorry for the rant Lol: this is my second post on the forum, but I’ve not really been able to talk to anyone about K since I started watching the talks.)