I am lonely

Is loneliness normal?.

No ,animals don’t feel lonely among their own species…

Depends on how companionable oneself is.

Yes loneliness is normal . Everybody is lonely even though being marriage and having many children.
But loneliness is not healthy or sane. Society invests in loneliness ( like the cigarette advertisements ) and makes a lot of money in return.

Lonely? Have a cigarette!

Lonely? Get married for the third time. Lonely? Have chicken. Lonely? Join a church.
It goes on and on.

I think the question is all wrong. Really, we should be asking one another: is there any such thing as normal in the entire psychological field of humanity? Once this is cleared up, then it makes sense to look at what it means to be lonely as the thing itself, not as something set against an arbitrary standard. For the very standards we set and impose upon ourselves may be the root cause of all our psychological difficulties.

Do you want to go into this? Or am I interfering too much with the original question?

What is normal is not healthy or sane . For example getting married and having children is normal but it is insane in this crazy world.

Yes, but I am not talking of social norms. I am asking about psychological feelings, thoughts, images, dreams, desires, etc.

Fear is normal and common in all of us so we can discuss fear.

No, you are missing the point of my question. I am asking if anything within the confines of the brain can be deemed to be normal, including fear, loneliness, even love. What is a normal mind? Would there ever be such a thing? Is there a normal content of consciousness? Who is deciding all these things?

It seems that you are caught in the word "normal " . Let’s look it up. I said normal doesn’t mean healthy or sane. It is normal for a gangster to kill for his or her gang.

Yes, I see what you are saying. It is normal for a gangster to kill because killing fits the context and expectations of being in a gang. But what is normal in this kind of enclosed community is abnormal and insane when seen from a distance. Therefore, loneliness is normal for a mind that sees itself as a separate mind, a gang of one, so to speak. Is this what we are suggesting?

Out of 100 people 100 of them are lonely. Let’s not get caught in words. I am lonely, you are lonely. Let’s see if loneliness can be transformed. For that to happen one has to become it, get close to it, care for it.

Why? Isn’t that action being determined by the loneliness? Why do a thing about it? You are suggesting all the normal things to do: to be transformed, to become, to get close to, to care for. Why treat any of this as normal?

First of all, when you yourself feel lonely, what do you do? What is the actuality of it for you? Don’t you try to escape from it? That’s actually the first thing you do, isn’t it? Escape is the very first reaction. Am I wrong? It may be to sex, to company, to television, to a book, to a person, to drink or drugs or some other stimulation, but escape always is the first response.

So you want to do nothing! The house is on fire and you want to look for the causes. It is too late . You may spend a lifetime in eliminating the escapes. But in the mean time loneliness wears you out.

Sir, is it any wonder we are lonely? Look at what you are doing right now. You are meeting me with so many assumptions and ideas of what we should and should not do. I have not said I want to do nothing. I want to find out first of all what is the impulse for our actions. When you feel lonely, don’t you want to escape from it? So loneliness is also about escaping. But from what are we escaping? We know where we run to, what we go to in order to escape, but from what are we running in the first place? This we can only find out by looking very carefully and honestly at the actual things we run to; they and only they will reveal to us what it is we are escaping from.

What do you do when you feel lonely? What is the first thing you do? The fire is started right there, so let’s look at how it begins. If you don’t want to answer, then turn the question back on me. I am happy to answer it; I shall tell you what I do, if you ask. But I haven’t got any other clever answers about how to deal with loneliness other than by looking first at how something like loneliness actually manifests itself in the course of my own life.

I haven’t read your whole comment because of your first statement . Why should anybody be interested in the “me thing” which is an illusion.

‘Lonely’ may be Nature’s prodding , saying “procreate, make some babies!” “Do it !”…

That is the question.