When has one grown up? Grown up to what, and to what effect? Is growing up growing out of oneself, living without an other keeping one within the guard rails of oneself?

If one part of I is keeping the other part of I on a leash, and each part takes turns being the leash holder, each one is improvising in a way that is either questioning and testing the game, or upholding it, whether for lack of energy or fear of consequences.

At some point the question arises: Who or what is behind this madness, perpetuating this madness by failing to see it for what it is? Or is there only the fear of living without making a game of living that keeps the infernal game going?