We compare ourselves with others.
We also compare ourselves with an idea, an image, an ideal picture of how we think we should be.
But there is only the fact of what we are, not the changing or altering of what we are. That is, the changing of ourselves into the person we think we should be is not a fact.
To be aware of ourselves as we are - which means to observe ourselves now, this very moment, moment by moment - is essential.
Not to try to change ourselves, not to try to alter what we are; but just to see what is going on as though for the first time, without any choice (because the one who would change, alter, make choices to modify what is seen, is himself/herself part of what one is, part of what is seen, what is going on).
What is going on are our various reactions in relationship, our contradictory desires and urges, our attempts to control and shape these reactions in conformity with society’s expectations of us, according to an ideal we have accepted, etc, and so distorting our reactions, evading the actuality of our reactions, in the light of these ideals and expectations.
But surely the ideal exists because we don’t know how to meet the psychological facts of what we are?
So can we stop comparing ourselves with our ideal images of how we think we should be, and simply face ourselves - our reactions and responses in relationship - as they are, as one is, without making excuses for them or covering them up with sweet-sounding words?
Can we face psychological facts?