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Do I, you, understand conditioning?

Do I, you, understand conditioning?
Not understand in the usual sense, intellectually. Actually have an understanding, thinking is immediately expressing ideas, beliefs, in a verbal process of thinking. This regular way of thinking is repeating the conditioning, not an understanding of conditioning. A clear understanding will bring self to a halt. There is a realisation the thinking is unclear. All this called intuition, instinct, reasoning, perception, is perpetuating and cultivating a lack of understanding with the conditioning. When it is seen, I am stumped, baffled, actually without any answer, in my own thinking, there is the door to understanding. It is not a verbal response. It is an understanding of the insurmountable complexity and confusion of thought, of the intellect, the mind, and of all this human suffering.

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The “conditioning” is the illusion that there is an “observer” separate and apart from the “observed “.

It’s hard work to observe your conditioning ply its trade. It’s so deep, practically everything you think and do is a product of it. To keep on top of it, you’d need to watch your thoughts and actions like a hawk. This can be tiring and unpleasant, it’s much easier to just keep thinking and doing what you’re programmed to think and do, without reflection. The inertia of self.

Can the brain break through its “conditioned “ state at any given moment or does that become less possible as time goes by?
Does an older brain have less possibility than a younger one?
Maybe more, since the younger brains are inundated with entertainment like never before and the older ones maybe not so much?

I use the word, understand, as in stand-under. In understanding what befalls me, conditioning, thoughts, behaviour, these are stood-under, like the wind and rain. Maybe it is only in this discomfort, dilemma, or whatever, that there is under-standing. Then there is a black hole of timelessness and no escape.

We are part of something here quite wonderful and quite beautiful and quite beyond words. Part of an indivisible “immensity”. Our “conditioning “ obscures that fact. Keeps us short-sighted, fearful and self involved.