I know actuality is the ground, the fundament of everything thought is an attempt to address, name, explain, describe, etc., and I know that the word, the image, the concept, is not the thing itself. But how do I know it if I am not communing with the ground? I am awareness fundamentally, but I am more inclined to identify with thought, the conceptualization of awareness, so I know virtually nothing of actuality, the ground of being, since I always defer to thought, the word, the explanation, the concept.
I can’t help but defer to thought because that’s my conditioning, my addiction, the only reality I know. To be silent, empty, is to be grounded…or so it seems to me, because I don’t/can’t do that. And it isn’t because I don’t want to do that, but because reacting as thought is really all I know. It’s as if the ground of being is the ocean, which means sink or swim. and since I can’t swim, tread water, or just float, I can’t help but drown.
Can thought learn to swim, float, be at ease in the ocean? Or must the brain learn how to be more attentive and more aware than thoughtful to be “grounded” in the ocean of actuality?