Do I know what I can’t/don’t comprehend, or am I just content to be boggled and grateful that I can comprehend what little I do? What will comprehension do for me that gratitude has not? Why do I insist on gaining ground at every point, and arriving at a satisfying conclusion?
Why can’t this business be on demand rather than constant?

Sounds like you’re looking in a mirror. ?

Aren’t we always? What matters more than I, me, mine?

Are we utterly saturated with egoic self? Is it with us (in us, us) 24/7, sometimes in the foreground, sometimes lurking? Is selflessness possible? Some say it is, but why should we believe them, they’re humans and the human mind can convince itself (and try to convince others) of almost anything.

We can’t imagine selflessness, but we can acknowledge and bear witness to our self-centered activity and how it defines us.

What it comes down to is discontent. Most people are content to be the self-centered beings they are, laughing at or revering the idea of selflessness, never taking it seriously.

The good and the bad, joy and suffering, pleasure and pain.

And they get quite good at maximizing the positive/pleasurable, minimizing the negative/painful.

We’re a resilient and adaptable species, most can finesse their way out of full-on discontent.

Yes, but is “quite good” good enough?

If “good” is being selfless, why settle for less? It may feel good to be quite good, but can anything feel better than being nothing?

Might be. Why get greedy?

No clue! I only know what it feels like to be something. (Well, mostly, I might have caught a glimpse of being nothing or at least nothing-ish. And, yes, it was lovely. But not so lovely that I’d want to live there, visits are more my style. You?)

I don’t know if I’ve ever been there. Would I remember if I had? Could I trust my memory of the experience?

If selflessness is ongoing freedom, a stream of consciousness that can only be utilized by selfless intent (practical thought), and is never polluted by psychological thought, what have I got against it? How do I justify my polluting and damning and diverting of the stream?

I can conclude that talk of selflessness is hogwash and wishful thinking, and carry on with my good enough existence until I’m dead, or I can inquire into whether it may be possible to be free…before I’m dead.

I don’t even know if there is a ‘there.’

Can inquiry get in the way of being free?

Not if it’s free inquiry, inquiring for it’s own sake rather than in service to some agenda.

How would you know? Agendas are sneaky.

Your hidden agenda is hidden from you?

If you believe you can hide things from yourself indefinitely, why waste your time with K’s teaching?

Per definitionem, mon ami.

I don’t think it follows that 1) being unconscious of some of the things that make me click means 2) time I spend with Krishnamurti’s teachings is wasted time. But it does complicate things.

Could it be that you want to be unreachable, beyond most of us?

I know the feeling. I don’t want the labels I’m given or the images that are formed of me, but I can’t do much about them. If I’m misunderstood or mistaken for something I am not, I may do what I can to correct or bring clarity, or I may decide it’s not worth the energy.

I long for people to see and feel that everyone and everything is, ultimately, a mystery.

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Well obviously it is and thus we are but it’s a big deal to come even close to it. If you can come to it, that maybe enough or more than enough.

What does this mean to you, coming close to the mystery?

Well the way I see it is that we each have a ‘personal reality’. To some degree all living things have one but in humans this ‘reality ‘ in our brains is much more complex than in any of the other forms of life. It’s made up of memory.

But apart from all these separate ‘realities’ there is an ‘actual’ reality, the physical reality that includes everything. The entire physical universe. This is the realm of energy and it’s interplay. In this realm there is no ‘I ‘, no actual division. This is the realm of ‘mystery’ and whatever lies ‘beyond’ it. This what we are present in.