If the relationship is running along smoothly, there is nothing to observe. Right? There is nothing to change. ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.’. lol
What is it that occurs that we become aware that we have created an image about the other and it is interfering in our relationship?
When there is conflict in relationship there is an opportunity to observe the fact that image-making is interfering in perception. But one can be aware that one has an image about someone even without being in any particular conflict with them. Our images of each other are habits, associations, prejudices that arise in the moment of relationship. The challenge is to observe them as they happen, before they create conflict.
How does one know there is a conflict?
Are you asking this because you doubt that there are conflicts in relationship? Or because you don’t know for yourself what it feels like to be in conflict with someone in relationship?
How does one know there is conflict in relationship?
There is a sense of friction, clumsiness, repeated misunderstanding, a sense of antagonism (either in oneself or in the person with whom one is in relationship), a sense of woundedness, feeling disrespected, feeling not listened to, self pity, annoyance, frustration, anger. Conflict can take many forms, many intensities, from dull background annoyance and frustration, to acute outrage or even agony and despair. It is felt first of all the body, as a rising tension, a reaction, a feeling of being crossed, friction, burning. One feels the need to find relief from such psycho-physiological sensations of discomfort by saying something or doing something to accuse or blame the other, or by turning inwardly to accuse or blame oneself. It depends on what type of relationship it is. In the course of doing this one keeps the conflict going through memory, through imagination, through verbalised or unverbalised criticism of oneself or the other person (usually the other person); which can last minutes, hours, or even days.
Does this answer your question? I’m not sure I can do justice in words to what conflict feels like.
That is common to all, which in addition to sensation, includes thought and feeling. That’s how one knows. What does one do at that moment? Stay with it or escape? James, you listed some escapes and there are myriads of them. Will escaping ever resolve a conflict?
No, I don’t think escaping is the intelligent way of dealing with conflict. Remaining with it nonverbally seems like the intelligent thing to do.
It’s getting late here where I am, so I am calling it a day if that’s ok with you, Bob.
Hi James, yes. Have a great night.
So the fact is that, both on Kinfonet and in the world 
, there is a sense of division.
Each person has a slightly different way of approaching life, which extends itself to how we each of us approach the questions we ask here on Kinfonet. We each have a slightly different interest, a different way of using language, a different emphasis on different words, different opinions, different attitudes and personalities, different backgrounds and aptitudes - and so we create and experience a sense of division (whether subtle or open).
What can be done about this?
I think, first of all, we have to recognise, see, be aware of the fact that we are - subtly or obviously - divided from each other.
This may not be the final truth of things (because we have heard Krishnamurti say that our consciousness is one, undivided); but it is the present fact of what has happened and what is happening.
Can we face this fact? And then find out if it is possible to move beyond our differences, dissolve this sense of division?
@macdougdoug @danmcderm are you guys interested or amenable, open, willing, to look at this? Or have we reached an impasse, and can no longer dialogue because of a momentary conflict - and/or misunderstanding - that happened in the recent past?
For myself, this is the kind of thing that we, as human beings, who represent ordinary human beings everywhere, ought to be able to look at and deal with (otherwise what is point of having a forum where we can dialogue or discuss about such things?).
Anyway, I will leave it at that. I have already said enough about it. If you want to look at it I am willing. And if you want to forget about all this and move on, I am also willing. I guess if neither of you replies it means you just want to move on and ignore this whole issue. If that is truly the case, then okay, let bygones be bygones. I’m sorry for whatever I did that caused you both to feel hurt or upset or disrespected. I hope you can forgive me. And if you feel you also contributed to the situation in some small way, then I will assume you are sorry about it too and we do not need to hold it against each other personally. Is that alright? Pax 
However, habitually one has not stayed with it So, isn’t it necessary to observe one’s habit? Not to change it but just to see it.
This made me think about the images I have if my neighbours. The next time I meet one of my neighbours, can I start with a clean sheet by putting images aside? Can I look at my neighbour with fresh, new eyes? It seems that K was able to do this, discovering the new as he went along.