I couldn’t find the other participants but if they see this post they are welcome to post.
Thank you John for organizing the meetings and the welcome. To answer your question from that day it wasn’t value that prompted me to wake up at 4.30 am but it was curiosity. Like i said in the first meeting i have been participating in local dialogues for a few months. To add an introduction, i found K’s teachings about a year ago but been participating in local dialogues for few months like mentioned. I have been reading on this forum for few weeks but to be honest decided not to participate here.Like i said during the meeting it was my first zoom experience and i was absorbing everything. Come to think of it maybe i have done the full circle of witnessing the local as well as a cosmopolitan situation in regards to K’s teachings and effects.
Two meeting in a row and one at 4.45 am should indicate my interest in what’s going on n the meetings. It was an unique experience and i got to observe many things.
First i will make a confession, i did push it slightly. By that i mean my way of speaking. In all honesty i wanted to observe the reactions. While i didn’t get a direct attack but i did get plenty of reactions and saw the defensive comments between members talking to each other. Instead of saying something to me. Maybe if i had a phony even tone with a thousand mile gaze, and either remaing silent or saying yes to all, maybe Robert wouldn’t have said something about me trying to control the discussion although he said it in a friendly way but nevertheless gave away his true thoughts. Not sure how that is even possible when someone is new alone and talking to a already established group of “veterans”. To clarify why i pushed it, it was an attempt to understand the people i was dialoguing with and to get a first hand observation of whether K’s teachings have made any actual impact on people. Because as you guys have that expression, “that’s where the rubber meets the road”. It’s our behavior which will give us away.
In my observation of the dynamics i have no reason to doubt that this is the probably the norm of K dialogues. At this point i am alluding to not my interactions but the general direction the conversations go, each talking about their priorities, from their problems, from their conditioning, from their motives.This is probably expected.
But what really affected me was the degree to which we’ve bound ourselves. Probably the best way to describe what i wish to describe in my limited vocabulary is by an image. The image i got was of people being bound in chains. Unable to express, unable to have a good laugh, unable to being candid. The facial expressions were that of sadness and the language was for the lack of a better word extremely negative. The negativity wasn’t about anything particular but there is a strong underlying negativity about everything. Misplaced doubt and rabid skepticism seems to have eroded even the possibility of anything or anyone being “good”.
These observations reminded me of the wrong turn of society K talks about but has also made me question if we’ve take a wrong turn in the teachings themselves. Reason i say this is because as the expression goes, “the proof is in the pudding” or something like that?
All this has made me question what has happened to us and our society at large. What have we become. I have a better sense of K’s seriousness now.
Thank you John and others for this wonderful opportunity. Feel free to respond if you wish or not if you don’t. But please may i request in the event of any posts the be made by the participants with whom i have interacted and not from the vitriol posters from the forum who weren’t there. .